listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
