Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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