I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
