Nicole vs. Life
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
