In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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