The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
