So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
