Sacagawea was the original milf.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
