I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
