in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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