all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
