i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Sorry about my life...
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
