i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
