so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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