Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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