have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
