thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
