I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
