so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize
