hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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