We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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