my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
