ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
did you just send me my own nude
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize