wakey wakey hands off snakey
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize