They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I am full of burrito and curiosity
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
