Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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