i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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