Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
