I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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