There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
