Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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