you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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