It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
She needs sedatives and a leash
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
