All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize