Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
And then he peed in my hair
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