Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Randomize
