C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
