Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
