i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
