Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Randomize