They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
