..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
