Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
