How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
