he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize