Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
