What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
