I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
