it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
