the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
