but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
