You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize