I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
