It's Friday. Sex?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
