So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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