So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize