It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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