Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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