dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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