i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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