He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Farmville is her only friend.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
