You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
