i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
