How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
