Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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