You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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