just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I licked your asshole in confidence.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
