nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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