So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
