So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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