I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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