then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
