My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
