A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize